Mad World
by Grav
Summary: It's a very, very...Mad world" post ep for The Bus


A.N. This is a pale shadow of EOlivet's wonderful shifting style. For the real thing, read her works.  
  
Thanks to Maple St. You guys are the best sounding board ever, even when I don't ask any questions. And thanks to Anya who betaed.  
  
Disclaimer: WaT belongs to CBS et al, and "Mad World" belongs to Gary Jules.  
  
Spoilers: The Bus and back.  
  
Summary: It's a very, very. . .Mad world.  
  
* * * * *  
  
~Mad World~  
  
[All around me are familiar faces]  
  
They were all there. Come to mourn one of their own. He was there, and he cried tears with no shame. But the pain overwhelmed him. He would never know.  
  
[Worn out places]  
  
She couldn't stand to be in the office. She couldn't bear to be at home. She needed him. She couldn't have him. It was killing her.  
  
[Worn out faces]  
  
She'd looked tired. The spark was gone. One day she just didn't come in. The next day her desk was empty. The day after that her replacement started. Things were never the same.  
  
[Bright and early to the daily races]  
  
He had the 2.2. No one in New York had picket fences though. Here you needed wrought iron. Kate was allergic to dogs. So much for the golden retriever.  
  
[Going nowhere]  
  
Now she looked peaceful. She looked finished. No rings, no family, just a bureau full of colleagues and four friends who had flown in from New York and sat in a group to the side.  
  
[Going nowhere]  
  
She didn't have to wonder where she'd be in ten years. She knew. She would stay here. Hopelessly tied to his world, helplessly alone in it.  
  
[Their tears are filling up their glasses]  
  
He remembered another time he had gone out for drinks. Then, as now, it had been a spectator sport. He'd watched her grieve over losing her love. Now he watched that love grieve her. He did his own grieving for both in private. Cold sober.  
  
[No expression]  
  
She drank with a singleness of purpose: get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. He was still nursing his first. He was worried about her. She wanted to cry but had nothing left.  
  
[No expression]  
  
They wondered how he could be so cold. He wasn't. He just didn't want them to know he had been the last to see her. He didn't want to ruin their memories of her. They knew.  
  
[Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow]  
  
She's promised herself she would never cry in front of a man again. She'd lied. Tonight, she needed to talk, and there he was. He'd held her hand, paid the bill and asked for nothing.  
  
[No tomorrow]  
  
Professionally, there hadn't been any faltering after she left. But everything seemed more subdued. When she'd died, it was like they couldn't bear to see her in each other any more. They each left with forced, cheery good-byes.  
  
[No tomorrow]  
  
He let her drink. She had to get it out some time, and if she needed to be drunk, then so be it. He would give and she would take, and they both knew there would be no vice versa.  
  
[And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad]  
  
Eight months ago, being in this bar with this woman would have made him the happiest man alive. You can learn a lot in eight months.  
  
[Theses dreams where I keep dying are the best I've ever had]  
  
Each time he was with her, he knew he was killing her. And his wife. And his daughters. That's what finally made him stop. More that her, more than his wife, he wanted those girls to hug him when he dropped them off at school.  
  
[I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take]  
  
She'd woken up that morning in her own bed, alone and fully clothed. She'd found him in the den watching television with the volume down. He'd pulled the curtains and handed her the Advil. The last time she saw him, he was on his way out the door apologizing for staying over to make sure she didn't die from alcohol poisoning.  
  
[When people run in circles]  
  
He was stuck between them. Forever weighing the pros and cons. Trying to do the right thing. He was getting dizzy.  
  
[It's a very, very. . .mad world]  
  
She had to get out of New York. She's started packing as soon as he closed the door. Like she'd done all those years ago, she just disappeared, without a trace.  
  
[Mad world]  
  
They could have found her. He never tried.  
  
[Enlargen your world]  
  
"When I grow up, I am moving to New York. As soon as I am old enough to live on my own, I am out of here. I'll be a city girl and do something important with my life. No more small towns for me."  
  
[Mad world]  
  
And now she was gone from it.  
  
~finis~  
  
* * * * *  
  
A.N. For those of you who were wondering, it shifts in time and POV between Jack, Martin and Samantha. Whenever you can't guess exactly who it is, it's probably Martin. 


End file.
